Hi please can you put this as private post
Need mums advice on teenagers
So last night my daughter wanted to go to her friends house and she got the bus cos I’ve pulled my sciatic nerve so can barely drive, have a bad back and bad shoulders so I told her if she goes she has to get the bus home (she’s 13 and her friend lives about 15 mins away on the bus)
The bus home was at 7.15 and at 7.10 she had rang me saying she is going to miss the bus cos it had already left. Now where I live the buses aren’t allowed to leave early so she was lying. Her friend literally lives 2 mins from the bus stop so it wouldn’t of taken her long to walk. I ended up having to go and pick her up in absoullute agony and she knew I was.
I’ve grounded her cos she didn’t listen and just gave me attitude about it. Now she is moaning because she was ment to be going to her friends today cos she is going to be home alone and saying she’s really sorry and it was a mistake. Even though it wasn’t as she wasn’t at the bus stop at the time she was ment to be.
Am I wrong for grounding her? And would you still let her go to her friends?
Forgot to add i also messaged her at 7 saying go for the bus now and she replied straight away saying yeah I am and then rang me 10 minutes later saying she was still at her friends
Source
Absolutely be staying home if it was my way..
I would have done exactly the same plus a good talking to for being so selfish as to not consider your pain.
Stand firm, if you let her.off this punishment it tells her she can get away with anything without consequences
I understand it feels bad punishing her but I promise it is for her own good as if you mess up in life there will be negative consequences
You sound like a very caring person and a great mum. I hope you feel better soon xx
Not wrong for ‘grounding’ your daughter, I would not let her go to the planned thing to her friends the next day as she is already ‘grounded’! That’s the consequence of not doing as agreed in the first place. As your daughter is a teenager and going through puberty this is the most demanding phase of parenting. It’s important to stick to boundaries at this early stage to assert that you are the parent here and what you say goes. I’ve guided many out of control teenage girls and firm boundaries is key to keeping them safe.
I’m a pick your battles kind of parent, however, I would have either made her wait for the next bus, or tell her to walk home, natural consequence for not doing what she was originally told to do.
No you are not wrong for grounding her and I wouldn’t let her go to her friends either after behaving how she did. When raising teens you need to stick to what you say or otherwise they’ll just push the boundaries more and more. This way she realises she can’t take the mick and knows if it happens again there will be consequences.