Anonymous please as I’m feeling really upset and need some outside advice.
I met up with some old friends recently for the first time in a while and gently opened up about feeling like I’d lost some friendships after a previous fallout with another friend. That’s another story!
I wasn’t trying to cause an argument, I just wanted to be honest about how I’d been feeling.
One of my friends then told me she had actually pulled away from me years ago, partly because when we used to go out for food and drinks, I would talk about a difficult time in my life and say things like “you wouldn’t understand”. She said she felt like I wanted her to apologise for having a happy relationship, which honestly shocked me because that was never how I meant it.
At the time, I was going through an incredibly difficult period and I genuinely thought I was opening up to people I trusted. I never wanted anyone to feel guilty for their own happiness — I was just struggling and trying to be honest.
It’s really upset me because something I thought was me being vulnerable and trusting my friends has obviously been interpreted completely differently.
I also opened up about something personal that night, and now I feel quite exposed and regret sharing it.
I feel like something has changed for me. I’ll always be polite and kind, but I don’t know if I feel comfortable opening up in the same way again.
I’m also still left confused because the original thing I was trying to talk about — feeling like friendships had changed and people had become more distant — never really felt answered.
I’m just hurt, disappointed and going round in circles in my head.
I’m someone who actually keeps a lot to myself and only opens up when I feel safe and trust people, so this has really knocked me.
Has anyone experienced anything similar? Am I overthinking this, or would you also feel hurt?
Source
Think about it this way, why is it all about you, and how you feel? Its ok for you to feel “safe” enough to open up to them about how you feel, but when they do the same, theyre being shitty friends? You sound very self absorbed to me. Maybe sort that out and your friends will be more warming.