My son is in year 4, and has a birthday party coming up. I gave him 10 invites so he could invite any of his friends that wanted to come and they could give them to their parents and have them call me. When I go to pick him up at the end of the day, his teacher waves me over.
I asked her what was up, and she said that I shouldn’t have my son pass out invites if there wasn’t enough, I turned back to her and said I couldn’t afford to hold a party where almost 25 to 30 kids would attend.
She said, well then don’t have your son passing them out in my class. “We have students who don’t have the opportunities to celebrate their birthdays and it was unfair to give them the disappointment of not being invited”. I told her while that was unfortunate it was not my problem to make the other kids in the class happy.
She said “Listen, parents make things I have nothing to do with my problem all the time. Just please don’t do this again or I will be writing your son up. Him passing those invites out distracted the class.” She then said he should apologize to the class tommorow.
I was pretty upset and I told her I would be addressing this with the principal later. Me and my son went home. I don’t really see it as my issue, it’s not like I told him to not invite any of his poor classmates.
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Personally I agree with the teacher on this one. My son only invites certain members of his class (just the boys) however I give the invites to their parents at the end of the day. I wouldn’t let my son hand out invites infront of children that weren’t invited, seems a bit cruel
I agree with the teacher if your not inviting the whole class then discreetly give the invites out to the parents im sure your child would be upset if other people in the class got an invitation to a party and he didn’t.
As a child who was undiagnosed adhd and autistic until only recently, I struggled with severe RSD. I didn’t get many party invites due to my behaviour and it really knocked my confidence growing up.
I either invite the whole class to my girls birthdays or hand the invites out after school in the playground so that it’s away from other children who may take it personal. That’s just me though because of how I struggled as a child.
To be honest even if you do it discreetly the children still talk about the party before and after.
Thats the rule in my son’s class no invites. And if there is a party either invite them all or none, it’s not nice to leave a child out.
Unless the whole class was getting an invite I think the teacher is right to ask you not to add disruption into their classroom as they’d have to deal with the disappointment of those not invited. If only inviting a select few then do so outside of the classroom environment so peers don’t compare themselves. Nothing wrong with not inviting the entire class to the party, just don’t take it into the classroom and manage it outside.
I 100% think parents are the issue here.
We always invited 8-15 depending where we went.
We have to teach our kids they won’t always get what they want. Life comes with disappointments. They’ll get over it.
(But I do agree it should be done start or end of day, like cloakroom time, idk if disturbing the class meant he done it in class time?)
I wonder how your son would feel if
Another parent had the same attitude as you have and saw other children receiving invitations except for him. Maybe you should invest in some empathy it does actually go a long way
Invites should be handed to parents outside of school.
It is not a school event and the teacher is right.
Sounds like she’s jealous because she didn’t get invited 🤣