I’m probably going to get absolutely slaughtered for this… but I genuinely want to know what other mums think.
Are we making our children TOO comfortable?
I’ve noticed more and more parents doing absolutely everything for their children — making their beds, packing their bags, tidying their rooms, bringing them drinks, cooking separate meals because they “don’t like” what everyone else is eating, solving every friendship problem for them and stepping in the second they’re even slightly uncomfortable.
And before anyone says it… YES, I know children are children. They deserve a childhood. They deserve support, love and patience.
But where do we draw the line between supporting our children and doing everything for them?
I saw a mum recently say that her 10-year-old doesn’t have any chores because “they have the rest of their life to work.”
Part of me thought… fair enough. Let them be kids.
But another part of me thought… surely learning to contribute to your own household is part of being a child too?
My children are expected to help around the house. Not because I want them to “earn their keep”, but because I want them to grow up knowing that nobody is their servant.
Other parents might completely disagree — and that’s fine.
So I’m genuinely asking:
Should children have chores?
At what age should they start doing things for themselves?
And are modern parents protecting their children from too much responsibility… or are we simply giving them the childhood we wish we’d had?
I REALLY want honest opinions on this one. 👀
No judgement — just curious where everyone stands.
Source
All 3 of my children have chores. For doing their chores thwy earn pocket money and privileges. There are days when they are busy with clubs, homework etc so I will help them or just do it myself.
I see it more as teamwork. We all want our home to be nice and a place that is safe for us. We all contribute to that.
Yes there are days when their rooms look like a hand grenade was launched into it and I have found that my tidy to their tidy are different. If I ask them tidy up, the effort of trying means more than actually how tidy it is. We all have a role in our home but its a lived in home. Its no show room, but its clean and tidy.
Everyone is different, I won’t ask my kids to do certain things for my own personal reasons (stemming from growing up) . They will sort their bag, do their own room , beds etc .
I will however make different foods for my kids and absolutely everyone/ anyone that comes into my home (if needed) because I , as an adult don’t like every food in the world. If someone doesn’t like something I wouldn’t expect them to eat it.
I agree with you. My eldest started doing chores at around 7/8. That was her choice. She liked helping me. Still does at 14 and she sometimes even cooks us dinner! My almost 10 year old doesn’t do anything. Maybe I give in to easily but it drives me mad when her mess is everywhere. She can do things. She just chooses not too or does half a job and i have to finish it. Shes just like her father 🤣
I have a chart for my children so when they do a chore they write it on the board and put down how much that is, for example washing pots 50p make cup of tea 30p hoover stairs 50p ect, then at the end of the week thats their pocket money, so if they want money they do chores if they dont they dont do chores x
Chores are needed for them to grow up doing things they need to be doing as adults. Gradually increasing them I think is normal and needed.
I think it is a huge societal issue.
All mine have chores to do depending on their age. Do they always listen? No, do they try and skip chores? Yep. Is it draining as a parent, absolutely 💯 we must keep at it.
My partner always says i mammy my 11 year old to much i literally do EVERYTHING for him even get his clothes out on a night fetch him drinks get up as soon as he is hungry and get him something out the kitchen if he asks me to do something i do it, ive defo made a rod for my own back i have a baby now depending on me and my son done nothing at all to help, he started secondary school this year ive now said he need responsibilty, i will not make his packed lunch or pack his school bag anymore, he is old enough to read his timetable and work out what he needs for his school day if he forgets anything that is on him, also over the last couple of weeks ive made him start taking responsibily for HIS dog that he never has he is to walk her once a day xxx
oh absolutely 100%!! My kids are spoilt. But – i’ve learnt the lessons from my eldest and not making the same mistakes with my youngest. But they are an entitled bunch this next generation 🙁 xx
i think you should do what works for you in your household and mind your business when it comes to other peoples
My parents always said we have the rest of our lives to work so we do nothing and that’s what our motto is in our house. It never affected me, I work, I have 3 boys aged 12, 13, 13, I also live on a working farm and have my MIL who is 100 living with us who I care for. While my kids aren’t expected to do anything I have brought them up to know to offer so they do offer to help with putting clothes away etc. They do make their beds and make sure their rooms are tidy and they also help outside on the farm.
Chores never hurt anyone and I don’t mean let’s send them down the pit or up the chimney but making their beds, being responsible for their own messes, feeding the pets etc and then as they get older helping with laundry, cooking etc. I’m their parent and not their slave!