I need some advice please. What would people do if they were in my shoes?
I have 5 children from a previous relationship. They have not seen their dad for a few years, his choice. I’ve been with my new partner just shy of 3 years and we have a 10 month old together. We don’t live together. I have just recently found out I am pregnant, nearly 11 weeks now. My partner doesn’t want the baby. I have been to the abortion clinic twice. The first time they told me to re think and come back. A week later I went back, got the pill but didn’t take it. I couldn’t use the pill knowing what I was going to cause. Before my 10 month old I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and it was very hard to get through that.
My partner really doesn’t want this baby, says it doesn’t fit into his life right now. He wants me to go have the abortion surgically. If I don’t have the abortion he will walk out of our lives, including our 10 month old. If I do have the abortion he will stay in our life, move in together. He wants us to move in together, marry next year and get pregnant next year.
I feel sad knowing that I can keep dad in baby’s life by doing this but I’m also sad of the regret. Knowing I have purposely caused a pregnancy to fail. I am so scared of going into depression. I am also worried I will struggle to cope with another baby. Please help
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What exactly will change next year compared to now? How will you know he won’t just leave after you’ve had it , or even next year if you become pregnant again and it’s still “not the right time” for him? You’ve got 6 children, you’re already a pro at this, another one slid into the mix isn’t really going to be hugely different than life now for you. Abortion or not I’d never stay with a man that gave me ultimatums or tried to blackmail me over my own body! Takes two to tango , he can either step up or step out. Either way you got this Mama ❤️
Hes got a child with you already and still not moved in so how is getting rid of a new child going to make a difference
If he wanted that he would have done it by now. Do what you want, he’s stringing you along
Sorry but if he loved you as in unconditional he’d respect your views whatever you decide I wouldn’t want yo be with a man.who gave me ulimations your best off without him regardless what you decide
Major red flag 🚩
A child will hold your hand for a lifetime a man may not!
The fact he’s prepared to walk if you go ahead speaks volumes
Definitely wouldn’t be marrying that
If it doesn’t fit in to his life right now then maybe he should have worn something to stop it happening instead of giving you an ultimatum. Takes 2 to make a baby so he needs to deal with his actions. Do what you feel is right. Your body. Your baby. Your choice. Good luck x
He doesn’t want a precious baby now, but wants one next year, what’s the difference?
Reminds me of my ex. I fell pregnant. He told me to get an abortion. I didn’t. She is now 14 and the best thing that has ever happened to me. He hasn’t been in our lives since she was a baby. I have no regrets. Her step dad has bought her up as his own. Don’t let anyone pressure you to do something you don’t want to do ❤️
My husband was worried about me having our second child. I stuck my guns and had the baby, we now have 5.
I would never let a man tell me what to do
Mmm, I’m hearing some worrying control issues , here…..his way or the highway. Can you see that this is not the basis for a good long term partnership? He is not considering your mental health, your physical stress , or, frankly, his part in conceiving this baby. Babies are not throw away s just because it doesn’t suit his “lifestyle right now”. That is not how life works. Clearly the clinic has given you counselling…..listen to your inner voice. If in doubt, don’t.
Have you had discussions about this possibility before? Surely , unless he has not been honest, this would have come up before? Maybe this is a massive red flag , that you are being shown that reflects the true state of his commitment to your family. Gather all your support people and make the decision based on your needs, your children’s needs , and a future with love and kindness.