Hello,
Please can I have an annoymonous post
I’d really appreciate some honest advice from other mums because I’m feeling a bit stuck with my situation 😩
I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and we’re now talking about him properly moving in with me. I have 2 children and I currently receive around £1,000 a month Universal Credit along side my own wages.
My partner earns a good wage so if we become a couple we won’t get UC.
The thing I’m struggling with is that I currently manage financially with my UC alongside my own income. If I lose the £1,000 UC, I’ll obviously be £1,000 a month worse off. My partner said he will pay £600 into the household for me personally, but he is quite tight with money and doesn’t want to just pool our wages together.
He also has a son who stays with us around 6 nights a month, so there are extra costs involved there too.
I’m basically worried that I’ll end up losing £1,000 a month in benefits, while only actually having around £600 extra available to me, and I’ll be financially worse off despite us living together.
I know people will probably say “you’re a couple, you should just share everything”, but that isn’t how our finances currently work, and I don’t want to end up unable to afford my own bills, food and things for my children.
What would you do in my situation?
Would you move in together and accept the financial hit, or would you keep your finances/homes separate until you could work out a fairer arrangement?
Please no judgement — I’m genuinely looking for advice from mums who have been in a similar situation. ❤️
Source
Personally the way cost of living is at this time id say stay as you are live separately and enjoy your relationship. Living together with put pressure on you all and you could end up regretting it resulting in you splitting up.
I think you would have to claim as a couple and would no longer be entitled to single UC.you could go on UC calculated put in wages both and see what it says then decide what to do xx
I’d stay as you are if you’re going to end up worse off. If you’re all happy as you are keep it as it is. As the saying goes “if it’s not broke don’t fix it” xx
Why doesn’t your partner just give you the £1000 per your going too loose?
Then that will help toward the household bills and shopping.
Can guarantee he’s spending more than £600 a month on bills for his current place, he’s looking for a way to be better off financially himself and doesn’t care that he’s financially burdening you to benefit him….have the difficult conversation, stay as we are, or contribute £1000 a month plus an extra £150-200 for his son. If he pushes back again you’d be an idiot to let him move in x
I was in receipt of some benefits before my partner moved in. He covers the shortfall and more . I didnt even have to ask. Also im assuming your partners bills are a lot more than £600 a month where hes living now. Know your worth xx
Tell him that he contributes the exact amount that you are losing or it’s not happening.
it sounds to be like he wants his cake and eat it with finances and unless he lightens up a bit it will definitely come between you very soon, maybe suggest he pays £600 towards bills plus food shopping every other week if he’s not willing to do this it’s a no go before it even happens
Bet hes paying way more than 600 out for where he is now.
If I’d made a home for me & my children not way would I want a man moving in 5years down the line
Stay as you are, or tell him to give the 1000 pounds and the extra for for the son