Parents Share Their Most Controversial Child-Rearing Opinions
If you have kids, you know that everyone and their mother has a strong opinion when it comes to parenting. Well, Redditor Sukari1970 said, “What’s an unpopular parenting opinion that you stand by?” Here are some controversial parenting opinions that people are totally on board with.
1.
“Kids not yet in high school don’t need to have smartphones. It’s way too soon and can lead to all kinds of issues such as addiction, talking to creeps, cyberbullying, and access to inappropriate content.”
2.
“It’s okay to negotiate with your kids. If they don’t want to do something or want to do something a different way, I hear them out. And often reconsider.”
—C5H2A7
3.
“I hate when people when people say, ‘It goes by so fast, and one day you’ll miss when they were this little.’ I can’t help but scoff internally. The newborn stage doesn’t go by fast enough! Don’t kid yourself: We are all miserable during this stage. You just eventually forget about all the hell you went through every day, and you miss the few cute baby moments you happen to catch on camera before they poop on you for the third time that day!”
4.
“Doing everything for your child is doing them a huge disservice. Allow them to navigate social situations on their own. Allow them to feel and learn from the natural consequences of their actions. Don’t swoop in to help them and take away discomfort. Let them make mistakes. Not allowing your child to do any of these things creates anxious children, which, in turn, creates anxious adults. For example, did they get up late for school and didn’t have time to make lunch? Then they go hungry. Did they ignore your advice and not take the proper jacket? Then they were cold. Obviously, this is all within reason, but much of the time, parents always try to remove any minor discomfort, and that prevents kids from learning.”
5.
“In the summer or during holidays I don’t care how late my kids stay up, as long as they’re quiet and not making a mess.”
6.
“We should not be telling our kids they can be literally anything. They can go to an Ivy League university! They can be a movie star! An NFL quarterback! The president! All you have to do is dream big! The trouble is that lots of talented people don’t end up doing that thing because of bad luck, or not wanting the stress, or simply because there are a finite number of professional football players. Teaching your kids to work hard and develop their talents is great, but telling them they can do anything if they just want it bad enough sets them up for a big disappointment when they don’t end up as an Olympic gold medalist/billionaire/astronaut.”
7.
“Parents should not be their children’s ‘friends.’ So many parents want to be besties with their kids. This can’t be done because best friends can’t establish or enforce rules and consequences. Parents who do this also perpetuate bad behavior because they don’t want their kids to be mad at them.”
8.
“Talk to kids about tough topics like death, sex, and money (of course, in an age-appropriate way). A lot of explanations about death can actually leave kids more traumatized than just giving it to them straight. Similarly, if kids ask where babies come from, don’t tell them a stork brought them. With things like shopping, tell kids that they have to be on a budget if they want treats, or tell them that ‘we aren’t getting X,Y, or Z because we’ve spent enough money on snacks and luxuries this week.”
—Big_Year_526
9.
“Let your kids eat junk food from time to time. I see all these parents who are obsessed with having their kids eat healthy. You know, the all-natural, organic, no additives, preservatives, etc, the ones who won’t let their kids eat any junk food or unhealthy food at all. I’m not saying to feed your kids junk, but allow your kids to have treats and junk once in a while. Your kids are going to see their friends eating junk food, and they will want it, too, and they’ll feel left out. When the kids turn 18 and move out they are going to finally have the freedom to shop for themselves and will over indulge on junk because they were deprived of it when they were younger and end up totally unhealthy.”
10.
“Pumping is soul destroying, and expecting any woman to pump in addition to breastfeeding is ridiculous. Frankly, pumping made me feel worse than my actual depression does.”
11.
“Parents need to care more about academics. I recognize pressuring your kid to get perfect grades and enacting strict punishments if they can’t is wrong, but I think we’ve swung too far in the opposite direction where now many parents don’t care at all…”
12.
“I don’t wait until I’m sure my child can understand something to start explaining it. So many people have told me my kid is too young to understand something and then are shocked when he understands…”
13.
“I don’t praise my kids for small tasks. For example, I won’t say ‘good job!!!’ for the little things children should be expected to do like taking their plates to the dishwasher, picking up items they dropped on the floor, using proper manners, etc…”
14.
“I hate the trend of using tracking apps to log baby sleep and feeding. Sure, babies develop routines, and it’s helpful to be aware of and work with these rhythms, but I’ve seen parents reverently defer to these apps instead of their own instincts or even their baby. If a baby is smiley, happy, and content, but the app says they’re overdue for eating/sleep, there is no need to get stressed! No need to try forcing a baby to eat/sleep. These apps are maladaptive parenting aids undermining parental instincts and attunement between parent and child.”
15.
“I wish we’d do away with the amount of surveillance and tracking apps that more and more parents use on their kids. It gets really sad when these kids hit college, and they are looking for ways to detach from their parents who know what and where they are up to 24/7.”
—meganfrau
16.
“I can’t stand gender reveal parties. A gender reveal party is an unnecessary reason for an expensive event. Share the news intimately with your partner at the doctor’s office or with family at home.”
17.
“We must accept that we can’t always keep our kids happy. I hear so many parents say, ‘oh you don’t have to do that if it makes you unhappy, just do what makes you happy.’ Yeah, that’s great in theory, but what about all the stuff we have to do that we don’t love doing? Am I happy doing the grocery shopping plan? No. Am I ecstatic about doing the laundry and putting it all away? No. Am I ecstatic every day at the prospect of going to work? No. Doing things you need to but don’t like to build resilience and responsibility. It’s important. Experiencing all emotions is also important. If you’re sheltered from ever being unhappy you’ll never be able to handle disappointment and difficult emotions later in life.”
18.
“Kids need to be told ‘no.’ A big part of parenting is purely getting your kids to do important things, whether they like them or not.”
19.
“I make my kids do chores. Learning chores is not an option: it’s a duty and obligation.”
20.
“On screen time, it’s a big problem when kids aren’t allowed to use screens at all. That’s *also* setting them up for failure. They will need to know how to use technology in their future career, at least in college. They also need to learn how to moderate their own use of screens, and I’d rather they learn to prioritize schoolwork and sleep in high school than in their 20s with a job on the line.”
21.
“As parents, we should allow children to be bored sometimes. We’re trying very hard to teach our seven- and four-year-olds that it’s OK (and even good) not to be entertained every second of the day. We finally had the strength to do a three-hour car ride with no electronics.”
Do you have something to add? What is an unpopular parenting opinion that you stand by? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
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