Hi everyone, I’m posting here because I’m at absolute breaking point and really need some advice, perspective, or just a bit of support.
I am currently 25 weeks pregnant. I have an almost 13-year-old daughter from a previous relationship (her dad and I split up while I was pregnant with her). I met my husband in 2018, we got married last year, and I fell pregnant.
Right now, things feel overwhelmingly difficult at home:
My daughter: She has developed a terrible attitude towards me. She yells, mimics me, tells me to “shut up,” and is very lazy around the house. What hurts the most is that she acts like an absolute angel in front of everyone else, but directs all her hostility at me. When I express how much I’m struggling, she tells me I’m “exaggerating.”
My husband: He only started working 3 months ago and just recently began contributing towards rent and food. Historically, I have always worked and provided, while still coming home to do all the cooking and cleaning. Now, even while pregnant, in severe pain with my back, and currently fighting a chest infection, I am still trying my hardest to run the house. He works long hours, but on his days off, he makes excuses, says he needs to “relax,” and goes straight onto the PlayStation. He doesn’t ask how I am, how the baby is, or tell me to rest. He won’t even give me a massage for my back pain. Whenever I try to tell him how I feel, he dismisses me and says I’m “nagging.” He will speak to everyone else nicely but to me very rudely. And he is quick to do something for someone but moans when I ask.
My health & mental state: Between the physical toll of pregnancy, the back pain, the chest infection, and working around the house without any help or basic kindness, I am exhausted. Because both of them invalidate how I feel, I feel completely invisible and isolated in my own home. It’s gotten so bad mentally that I’ve catch myself thinking they’d only realize what I do if I wasn’t here anymore, and I’ve even had thoughts about ending my life because I just feel so trapped and broken.
I know those thoughts aren’t the answer, but mentally that is where I am. I do everything I can as a mother and a wife, but I am receiving zero care, help, or emotional support in return.
Has anyone been in a similar situation with a teenage child and a partner who checks out? How do I get through to them, or how do I protect my own mental and physical health right now for the sake of myself and my baby? Any advice on how to handle this would mean the world to me.
Source
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Mum life what a great life
Get out walk away
Bin the husband if he isn’t listening to your cries for your help the fact he can watch his wife struggle and ignore is disgusting
As for your daughter you need to start a punishment remove any devices from her for a week start setting strong boundaries
It doesn’t help she’s watching or hearing your husband disrespect you and you letting it she’s picking up that she can also walk over you xx
Send that to your daughter and husband
Go out to a family members house then for the day. Come home and get into bed. Don’t do a single thing for them even for tomorrow for work or school.
See what they will be like tomorrow.
Silent treatment all day
Pack a bag,and book yourself into a hotel, or stay with a friend..Tell them your not coming back until things change..The longer it goes on,you are enabling it
Take yourself of to a friend or family for 2 weeks leave them behind both capable of looking after themselves ,see how they manage ,and you will get some rest
Tell them you’ve had enough of both their attitudes and they can sort themselves out from now on and then walk out the door. Book yourself into a hotel for a few days where you can rest and cut contact. Let them panic and reflect on themselves!
Hi
Is your teenager showing signs of jeolousy.. she been the only child for so long and your having another she might be feeling jeolous or pushed out ? Not that her behaviour towards you is an excuse! Is your husbands attitude or behaviour running off on her? Is she still in touch with her bio dad & and has she had any sort of contact with him!
Have you spoke. To any family members that your daughter gets on with that maybe could have her for the night and talk to her about how she feeling and say your mum mentioned thjs – what’s going on, what happened or just say hee behaviour isn’t right – how do you think she’ll react!
And you need a 1-2-1 with the husband and tell him things need to change before the baby here ! You can’t let this behaviour keeo going if your feeling like this – you need to out you and the baby first
I would speak to your daughters dad about how your daughter is behaving. Don’t be washing clothes if she can’t be helpful with simple things make her learn.
If your husband isn’t helping at all on his days off you can’t expect a child to do it either hormones are everywhere it’s a big change for her aswell but everyone needs to come together and support everyone as a family.
Maybe sit everyone down and give them 2 tasks to do everyday if doesn’t get done then they do their own stuff like own teas Own washing. Take care of yourself x