Hi could I please have a post. I’ve had to make the decision to stop having chil…

Hi could I please have a post.
I’ve had to make the decision to stop having children because my autistic teen is so against it that it’s made me feel like a bad parent for even considering it. (She overheard us discussing it and made her feelings very clear)
I have a 2 year old and desperately wanted one last baby. It’s been 4 months since we spoke about it and my feelings haven’t changed, but neither has my daughters.
She loves her brother and they have a good bond, though she dislikes children in general and doesn’t like to interact with him often. When he has tantrums it can cause sensory overload for her so she associates children with stress and negativity. There was never any jealousy when he came along, but she struggled adjusting to the crying.
I understand why she doesn’t want another sibling, despite the fact it hurts I know I have to put her feelings first. No amount of reassurance works. She would hate me if I did it anyway and I don’t want to risk our bond as it took so long to build it due to her sensory issues and refusal to communicate verbally for many years.
My issue now is coming to terms with knowing I’ll never be pregnant or have a baby again. I kept all of my son’s equipment and clothes with the intention of reusing it. I don’t feel ready giving it all away but holding on to it just prolongs the reality.
I have no idea how to move past it because the longing has got worse since accepting it won’t happen.
Has anyone else been in this position or had to stop having children before they wanted to? How did you come to terms with it? When you knew you were done did your feelings ever change or do you know when the time is right to stop?
Could really do with some realistic factual advice because I’ve had mental health issues in the past and I’m worried I’ll become depressed again if I don’t deal with my emotions connected to this.
Thanks x


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