Hi can you post private please the following please .
Hey all I just need some advice to see if I am expecting too much or I definitely right with my thinking I have two children with one guy have been separated for five years. He currently works shifts two weeks of days which starts at 6:50 am and finish at 4:10 pm then he does two weeks of night which starts at 8:10 pm and finishes at 4:10 am apart from a Friday when he finishes at 2 am . Now he has the children 4 nights a month – week 1 Friday & Saturday
Week 2 sat –
Week 3 sat
Then the 4th weekend they are with me . He used to have them for tea on a Tuesday and Thursday on the weeks that he was on nights so he would pick them up at four and drop them off at 6:30 however he met a girl in December of course no issue moved in with her in March and since April has stopped having them for tea in the week so it’s just at a weekend but also when he has them at a weekend he doesn’t tend to pick them up till dinner time on the Saturday earliest 11:30 am and tries to bring them back between 10 and 11 on a Sunday only the odd occasion that he’s had them roughly till about two on a Sunday I just feel like half the time it’s not for even 24 . I have just taken them both to Spain for 10 days. He seen them the day before we went however he has not bothered to message. Ask if we arrived okay? If they’re having a nice time my daughter tried to ring him. He didn’t pick up five days went by and I didn’t messaged him and said it was nice of you to answer * ‘s phone call she wants to speak to you. He replied I don’t need to message you whilst they’re on holiday. They’re your priority which my response back was no as a parent you generally ask about your children’s well-being. It’s not necessarily messaging me. . We have arrived back today and I’ve had appointment come through for tomorrow after work and have asked him to have the kids for tea. He’s completely ignored the message and he’s not planning on seeing them until Sunday at this .16 days have nearly gone by . By the time Sunday comes what I am asking is do people think it’s normal that further of the children should check in at least once or twice whilst they’re away for that amount of time or am I expecting too much? .
Our coparenting is not the best of relationship was a domestic violence relationship. My children are nine and seven and my nine year-old is autistic and extremely hard work. I feel like I don’t get any time to myself whatsoever. .
Since we have separated if I have had any contact with a male he has threatened them threatened me which resulted in an arrest and a caution and also his own mother rang social services on him in March which now the kids have ended up on a TAF .
Do I just cut the ties and not bother all together or should I just be grateful
with what I get and am I expecting far too much from him ?
Source
If he abused you, doesn’t bother with kids, threatens new men in your life then you already have your answer. He isn’t safe for your children.
I would 100% cut contact!! Why are you begging somone who dosnt want to be involved I have an autistic child and as much as it’s very hard work I would never beg somone to be in her life!!!
No way would I allow my children to stay with a man who was DV for even a night let alone more. Too bad you don’t get any time to yourself you’re not the only one who would be doing it alone.
I would definitely cut contact. It’s very detrimental to your children to have him in their lives especially with the DV. Cut your losses(!!) and carry on parenting on your own. If he is that bothered, which doesn’t seem like it, then im sure he will go down the legal route to get access
seek legal advise and get contact wrote up and court ordered to every other weekend with set times plus half the holidays