Question: My baby is still waking up for feeds in the night how can I help him sleep longer?

Reply: Put Rusks in his bottle to fill him up for longer.

Please do not do this it is a serious choking risk, your baby will sleep through when ready.

Question: What contraception does everyone suggest?

Reply: I use the pull out method yet to get pregnant

No, No, No this is not a great way to prevent pregnancy, you can get pregnant through pre-cum and is not effective method.

Question: My baby always seems to have wind any suggestions to help her bring it up?

Reply: Hold her upside down by her legs

Just no seriously lets all dangle our babies by their legs.

Question: At what age did everyone wean their babies?

Reply: I weaned my baby at 8 weeks and he’s absolutely fine

Come on guys really we all know that just because one baby was fine doesn’t mean its ok. Weaning is not recommended until 6 months

Question: Whats the best thing for teething?

Reply: Rub brandy round their gums or add salt to their dummy

What are you even thinking do I really need to explain why these methods are wrong

Question: I’m 2 days over due what can help start my labour?

Reply: Castor oil

Please for the love of god do not use castor oil it can give you serious diarrhoea but more importantly can mae baby come too quickly causing them to become distressed and poo inside of you.

Question: my 3 year old keeps biting what can I do to stop this?

Reply: Bite them back teach them a lesson

Ok lets all bite our children, what a great life lesson. NOT. Not only is it wrong on so many levels it’s also abuse.

Question: When did you change the teets on bottles to make the flow faster?

Reply: I never bought new teets i just cut the tips off.

This is so dangerous if a teet on a bottle starts to break or split throw it away, bits can come of and baby can choke

Question: My 5 year old keeps swearing how do I explain that it’s a naughty word?

Reply: Every time they swear put soap or hot sauce in their mouth

OK this is so dumb!!!! social services would have a field day, not to mention its terrible parenting and awful for the child.

Question: Its my sister’s wedding next month id love to have a drink but im 6 months pregnant, can I have a small tipple?

Reply: Just drink Guinness it’s full of iron and good for you

All alcohol should be avoided during pregnancy, there are plenty of nice tasting alcohol free drinks available

Question: I Cant breastfeed due to certain reasons what formula would people suggest?

Reply: If your child isn’t breastfed they wont be smart

oh come on love we all know breast is best but it makes no difference if they have breast or formula to their intelligence.

Question: My baby is 6 months old and looks a bit squashed in a rear facing car seat can I put then in  booster seat?

Reply: Yes my baby moved to a forward facing car seat at 5 months old and looks so much comfortable.

Do you not read the news?  Babies should stay rear facing for as long as possible, survival rates of car crashes are vastly increased by having your baby rear facing

Mums advice work day and night trying to eradicate these old wives tales and out dated methods and opinions. What was the worse advice you ever had or heard?