Can I have a private post please, ill try to keep it brief.
I dont know what to do and im hoping someone has walked the shoes before I step into them
Me and my partner have been together 10 years, two young kids, were currently discussing breakup, the problem is, it physically hurts, the love is still there, but we make eachother unhappy. Not toxic, just a want of different things. Im so scared of being without him, starting my life again, moving house etc. Normally im an extremely tough, independent person but this is killing me, i wake up sad, i go to bed sad. How do you know what to do? How do you walk away when the love is there but its not enough?
Source

Have you tried marriage guidance? It can’t hurt seeing as there’s still feelings there and could help you both see each others perspective on things. After 10yrs and 2 children it’s worth a shot!
years ago my hubby and i split for 3 months it was what was needed for us to realise we needed to work on our relationship and we got back together we are happier now then ever, a relationship is not always easy and lots off us need that time away to realise, can you not remain in the home with kids and him go stay with relatives for a few months then you can both decide what’s best going forward? your need to completely live separate life’s for this to happen and him have the kids weekends or every other plus take them for tea one or two evenings a week, but your need to co-parent well, at least your know what’s best going forward and you may well find your own feelings change it won’t take that hurt away for a long while
I think personally you have just answered your own post! Write a letter to yourself like you have done here and see what that brings