Can I have a PPP thank you
Hello everyone,
I just need to get something off my chest and have done for a while now. I’m not sure how to word it really or if it’s something I should even open up about, but here it goes.
So I’m married, have been for years now, but I’ve had feelings for another man for over half my marriage. I don’t know why, I didn’t plan it at all, but I can’t seem to shake the feelings.
I’m married, he’s married, we both have kids of our own similar in ages, we’re both happy (I know I am, and at least I think he is). However I just can’t seem to stop thinking about him. We’ve both been with our partners for over a decade (I won’t give the exact time frames).
We used to talk, he opened up to me years ago and said he had feelings for me and wished things were different. I never opened up to him first, but once he did, I did. Nothing ever happened, we never acted on anything, we just remained friends until several years ago where we cut contact.
I briefly saw him the other month with his wife, where he seemed happy to talk to me and he actually spent more time speaking to me than listening to his wife when she was trying to talk to him. (Me and his wife get along and speak to each other too, and we just happened to be at the same place at the same time so got talking. I wasn’t ignoring her and we also had a good chat). However we haven’t spoken or seen each other since then (I’ve seen his wife but not him).
Why am I feeling like this? Is it normal? I love my husband so I don’t understand why I feel like this. I thought the feelings would have gone away by now but they haven’t, even after not speaking for around 5 years.
How can I stop these feelings? Or do I just have to accept that these feelings will stick around for as long as they want to?
I definitely wouldn’t leave my husband to chase these feelings (or to chase a married man for that matter), but I suppose I’m just confused and wondering why me? I’m sure he doesn’t feel the same now and it’s just me being an idiot.
I’m posting on here as I’ve seen a few other posts regarding similar feelings and I just need to get it off my chest and I have no one I can open up to, so I thought my best bet was on here. Even if no one responds, at least I’ll feel better having vented this.
Thank you for reading if you have gotten this far.
Source
Lovely as it sounds to you seeing him.but you also talk to his wife if they’re in a happy place.dont chase him.make your marriage spark again plus you love your husband anyway.be happy 👍🤞
My biggest take away from all of this is that you know you would never cheat on your husband, you are happily married and so is he. I think that when he told you how her felt about you it brought up questions that you never thought you’d face and were probably very flattered that he had feelings. That’s normal. Any woman being told that would feel something (unless they’re dead inside) This doesn’t make you a bad person. However I think that when he opened up to you, knowing that you would never want to leave your husband you should have left it there. Telling him you felt some kind of way about him probably messed with his head too. Time has gone by and you are both still happily married to your partners. That tells you that it was just a thought, nothing more than that. Concentrate on your family and be happy.
Its a intrusive thought !!!! Concentrate on your family & leave the what ifs alone
Honestly it’s just a thought I wouldn’t give it too much time. The reality wouldn’t be as appealing. Work on finding the fun in your relationship and forget the married one x
Just a fantasy…so many go through this…..