Can I have a ppp?
My nearly 10 month old baby is going to her dad’s for the night tonight, he wants to take her on a 4 hour journey next weekend which ive said no to and he has since booked a mediation meeting and threatened me with court. I find this a total waste of money. Ive no issue with him seeing her/ having her for the night, im trying to encourage it! He had her every weekend since we’ve been co parenting, but he cancelled the weekend befor the trip because he wants to do work to a car. He tried to get his sister to have her for the weekend instead(she’s never stayed with her on her own befor) she is unsettled when she come back from his both weekends, first time she had a cold, second time a really bad belly. He gives her watsits which she throws up bright orange and i feel like maybe this is giving her a bad belly, im not sure as I cant keep tabs on what she’s eating when she’s with him. She fallen from the highchair befor in his care which was a trip to hospital for and grazes and bruising on her face and he has since sent me photos when she’s at his of he in the pram not strapped in.. he has a fractured hand and said one weekend he had her he might have to bring her back bevause he is struggling.
I really am all for him havin a relationship with her but at the moment I feel like his care for concern isn’t as high as it should be. He drives her in his work van that he had stated to me he couldn’t turn the air bags off so just drives slow.
This 4 hour journey is really playing on my mind and I cant help but worry its so far away if anything goes wrong! Hes taking the car back from me thay I traded mine in for for us to both share when I was pregnant but since the split he wants that back and is takin it back the day of the trip. So I have no way to get to her if need be.
I dont really know if im lookin for advice here or just to rant about it or if any of my concerns are even valid. I feel so helpless 😔
Source
No. Your concerns are valid. He does not sound like a capable or invested father. You need to start recording all issues if you are concerned for your child’s welfare.
Don’t message anymore. Limit contact. Get a court order in place for one night a week. And give information of the problems. If he is court ordered one night he must adhere to it and if he is leaving your child with others on his court contact time then use your solicitor to bring up these concerns at court. He won’t be messing about as much once court is involved. It sounds like it might be the only way. Otherwise it will just get more hostile between both of you and make it impossible.
Ok sorry but he’s the father aswell so what ever he does in his time it’s up to him, same goes what ever you do in your time it’s up to you. It’s controlling telling him what he can and can’t do when he has his own child. Annoys me stuff like this.
kids get colds and bad bellys. just remember that the next time she has them with you
Sorry but he needs to sort it out if shes 10 months old and shes falling out of highchairs. Let him take her the 4 hour car journey he will soon not want to again lol 🤣, but her safety need to be his priority. Mediation can be helpful and then you have a paper trail and agreements.
He may be the father ,Ànd yes he has rights , but the mother also has a right to make sure her child is going to be ok with a four hour car ride , if you re read what she has said , he get her on a regular basis , so far she’s fallen out of a high chair an pram and comes home sick , The mother isnt trying to control him at all , she’s just being a mum
Personally at 10 months old she wouldn’t be staying with anyone overnight unless it was an absolute emergency and if a works van is his only option I would take her to him myself and pick her up.
I’ll be honest, there’s nothing he can’t do that you can do. I’m assuming he has PR? 4 hours is a long way but if he makes stops to feed, change and get her out the car seat I can’t see the issue. As long as she’s strapped in correctly and she’s safe, I’m sure everything will be ok
If you don’t want him to do it then don’t let him, do the mediation because if he does take you to court you can show you’ve been co operating but keep a diary of everything also as your own evidence. It doesn’t sound like he’s very responsible so set your own boundaries.