Before I Had Children

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Now you’ve all heard the saying before I had children, I never stopped to smell  flowers, I never pulled over to look at horses…

But we have compiled the real version… the version no one tells you about  before you have children the truth .

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Sometimes with bare hands
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Or talking dogs or creatures in the night garden
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We all need chocolate
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I’m sorry for being such a bad child
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Ok maybe not
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God damn you tiny creatures
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Every bump, every cough
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Sniff test
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They weren’t really friends anyway
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My child loses a shoe every morning
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Especially if you have more than one child
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They do hold in the tummy though
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About everything!!!!
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Trampolines are a no go
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PACK IT IN!!!
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So tired!!!
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Constantly
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Please let me sleep
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Yep that’s poop
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Well a lot more often than I do now
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Boys have terrible aim
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Please baby stay on your back
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More than once

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Finger painting
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Sometimes on purpose

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