Need to vent before I literally lose my shit…
So here it goes…. my auntie has 5 children 3 of which are at primary school age, don’t get me wrong I love them to bits but they are rude, naughty and have no respect. So anyway as it’s school holidays I’ve been helping my auntie out as she’s not got anyone to have her kids while she’s working (works part time) this is purely because they are so unwell behaved no one can cope with them… anyhow I had them for her twice this week. I don’t live far from them and they are always knocking on my door to come in which is fine but sometimes I want my privacy.
Today I had a friend round and I was trying to get my daughter to nap. My cousin knocked on my door to which I ignored (I know Its wrong but I just wanted to catch up with my friend who I haven’t seen for years… anyway she looked through my window and saw us sat down chatting so I then opened the door and said very politely come round another day as I’ve got company… so off she goes…
A few hours later I get a phone call from my auntie being really rude saying she only wanted to see my daughter and apparently my friend gave her a filthy look which she didn’t as I was there and my friend is really lovely. Apparently I was ‘tight’ to not let her in.
I feel so mad and really feel like texting her, it’s not like I stop the kids from seeing us I have her children all the time and it puts a lot of strain on myself and my partner as he just likes us to have our family time. I honestly don’t mind helping out but I just think that was so rude of her to even bring anything from today up with all I do for her, apparently my 11 year old cousin wasn’t impressed (how belittling.
1. She shouldn’t of been looking through my windows
2. Should respect my wishes
3. I shouldn’t even have to explain myself.
Am I wrong for being really annoyed.. also makes me question what is being said about me if she can lie about that?
Source
Geez the aunty needs to back off alittle and respect your Wishes! If I were you I’d stop helping her children isn’t your problem it’s hers! She should have thought about this before getting a job!! It’s not your responsibility to take the load off her while she works she’s making it your problem when really it’s her who needs to sort her own shit out! I get that’s your aunt and all But dude Boundaries much! Put some boundaries in with her and if she doesn’t like it or can’t accept it then No more watching her kids!!
I wouldn’t accept it one bit and I’d say it straight out to your aunt how rude her kids are! You need your time alone private and her kids need to respect that
Tell her you need the family time … you sound like you do more than your fair share for her … & tbf if your having then that much they shouldn’t be turning up unexpectedly
Sounds like you have built up resentment about your cousins and Auntie and maybe babysitting them isn’t good for you. If an 11 yr old making up stories and being dramatic sends you off the deep end into defensive mode maybe you need to step back from them and look into therapy. The children are not at fault for their behaviour if their mother allows it and doesn’t parent them properly.
Put your own family first ❤️
You are not wrong to put your foot down.
Your Aunty is taking liberties, she knows that you will have them.
Speak to her, tell her you need your family time.
Also tell her, that if her children weren’t so badly behaved, you’d probably invite them in if you have friend round.
They are not your children to watch 24/7.
Next week take some time for yourself. Tell her you can’t help out. Then she’ll realise how much you do. Sometimes people need a wake up call x
I’m just going to say from the amount of times you say ‘I really don’t mind helping’ then next you say her kids are badly behaved, it’s putting strain on you and your husband wants family time?
So I think actually you do mind and resent it a lot from the way your talking.
You’ve said she has no one else. So if your only doing it to say how helpful your being maybe just don’t do it?
Honestly I’ve had family like this and now I choose no help at all over someone who likes to throw help in my face. She’s genuinely probably just lonely and struggling! This just doesn’t sound like care and support to me you don’t even sound like you like her if I’m honest?
But if you don’t want to help don’t. People find their own way 👍
Was it the 11yr old that looked in your window?
What everyone else has said! Also, I think this gives some insight as to why the kids are so badly behaved. She has no boundaries plus seems to give them their way on everything with no repercussions.
Do her, yourself and your partner a favour by making sure there are repercussions to her behaviour. Draw your boundaries, make them clear and stick to them. Correct her bad behaviour by ‘punishing’ her, for example say no next time she asks a favour. A bit like training a pet! Reward her when she does respect you!