Hi, please could i get a private post.. my daughter’s friend, who was 15, was found dead this morning at the bottom of the stairs it’s looking like she has passed due to a fall. I just needed some advice. How to support my daughter at this time she was sat talking to this friend last night and is struggling to make sense of this, as are we all it’s awful accident that everyone is struggling to get their head around and I don’t want to seem like am making this about my daughter but she has struggled with mental health in the pass and am worried how best to support her at this time she is saying she is just socked but i know its so raw this dont seem real right now
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My best friend died in an accident when I was just turned 16.
I am so sorry for her loss.
Be there, let her know that however she feels is ok and let her make her own choices about things like the funeral and memorials. Make sure school knows as well.
Let her talk about it when she is ready. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The 5 stages of grief.
Schools normally put on sessions for pupils where they can go and speak openly in private. You could ask for a referral for MH if you feel she isn’t coping well or soeak with teams that nay already be involved.
Firstly, let her talk, even if she says the same things repeatedly. She may need to make sense of something that simply doesn’t make sense.
Don’t feel you have to avoid mentioning the girl who died. Saying her name and talking about memories can be comforting rather than upsetting.
Acknowledge the impact on your daughter. Losing a friend at 15 can be a huge shock, and children/teenagers can grieve in very different ways — crying one minute and seeming completely normal the next doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting.
Keep an eye on the practical things. Food, sleep, school, getting some fresh air, having someone around — ordinary things can become surprisingly difficult after a shock.
Give both yourself and your daughter permission to grieve however you need to. There isn’t a timetable, and there isn’t a particular way you “should” be coping.
Plenty chats hugs let her talk and watch her carefully make her know anytime yous can chat even at 2 am
Supporting your daughter through a significant loss isnt “making it about her” your not selfish nor inconsiderate for worrying about the impact this has on her your being a great parent all you can do is be there for her and by the sounds of it you plan on doing so you got this let her know crying ranting and greiving is all normal and just be her ear and support 💞sorry for your daughters loss
How terribly sad 😥 you can only be there for her, listen, hug, keep an eye on her, do things to take her mind off? If they go to the same school, I’d expect them to be offering counselling for those that knew the young lady as did ours when a young boy passed away. Sorry for everyone’s loss 🥺 xx
Oh my gosh I’m so sorry to hear this,
My advice is be there for her, let her cry, let her talk whenever as nights will be hard they are long,
It will be a hard road to come
That poor family too xx
All you can do is be their for your daughter and let her know that you are always their if she needs someone to talk to. Sorry to hear that she has struggled with MH before and it is always hard when it’s a good friend of theirs as you wish you could have done something but unfortunately you couldn’t.
Just be there for her whenever she wants to talk about things even if it’s an inconvenient time for you ( cooking/cleaning/laundry can all wait ) You said she had mental health problems in the past, does she have a therapist that could also help ?