You know what I’m struggling with right now? Healing..😭 how is it okay for the man to go heal with who ever, no commitments, we are left with the kids to look after while healing also 😭 do you think that’s why it takes longer for us women to heal? And maybe the men heal faster because they get to go distract them self’s with god knows who? I know people say it will hit them later on in life but tbh, my husbands life is looking pretty sweet to me. He’s got a girlfriend that’s 11 years younger than him ( he’s 36 she’s 25) they started seeing eachother when she was 24, they work together. She has no kids, so I guess they get to do what they want. We’ve been split up 13 months and he’s been seeing/with her for 12 months. Pretty much within the first month he was out with her going on dates etc. but here’s me, a single mom. Trying to build a new life for myself and my boys. Still trying to heal, still so angry with the world. How is this even fair 😭😭😭 I want him to suffer just like I have and he isn’t 😭 that’s not me being a b***h that’s me wanting revenge for all the panic attacks I’ve had, for all the weightloss, the sleepless nights, the crying for hours on end, feeling absolutely worthless because of his new bird. It’s been 13 MONTHS! How the F am I not over them? Like I’m over him don’t get me wrong, I hate him, I’m just not over them doing me dirty, her knowing that he had a family. And him knowing he could have came back whenever he wanted he just didn’t want to. Did 12 years really mean NOTHING TO THIS BOY?! He can’t even look at me when we do drop off and pick up
Source
You’re entitled to feel as you do your pain is yours, your situation is yours and can’t be compared to anyone else’s. It’s difficult being a single mum with no time to heal from your own heart ache and you have to put on a brave face, hide your feelings – taking care of little hearts and minds and neglecting your own. Time does heal but it is way harder under stress and emotional turmoil! There are dads out there left in the same situation when it’s their partner who leaves and they are left to handle it all too but for a lot of women it’s them left to get on with it, suck it up, be the bigger person and raise healthy, emotionally well kids! So you have every right to feel like you do because it isn’t fair and it does suck! I hope you’re able to release the pain and anger you’re carrying he doesn’t deserve a second thought put your energies into your future and remember karma is a b@itch x
This is why it takes longer for women to heal that way of thinking and dwelling on what he is doing , the hate , Wanting revenge. It’s all holding you back. 2 wrongs don’t make it right
I’m not saying this will happen but, I’ve seen it before. When the honeymoon period is over he will be left on his own and you will come back fighting (stronger). The reason I think you are struggling is because you haven’t had a chance to recover, you’ve just had to carry on and hold it together for your kids. Don’t be so hard on yourself.
You’ll never heal with an attitude like that… also, saying it’s women who suffer? That’s no where even near to being correct. My dad was a single parent, my partner the same, I have friends who are single dads. Saying it’s men who do these things is absurd.
She won’t last long, he’ll probably get bored or she will. YES us women have to pick up the pieces for our kids and YES it’s so frustrating BUT we are the stronger sex and we have maternal instincts so that we can rise above and look after our children and NO it’s not fair at all!!
It takes time after being in a long term relationship it took me nearly 3 years to get over my ex after being together 11years and having 3 kids with the guy. I couldn’t see my life without him I kept trying and trying to get him back i made myself soo ill and then one day I was just like I deserve better then this and so did my kids they didnt deserve seeing me upset nd ill all the time so I started putting myself first now I get on with him like really good friends nd we co parent well.. just give yourself time you will get there.😊
I coulda wrote this , I’m only 4 months in he left after 19 year and 3 kids for someone in his work he’s 37 she’s 24, gets to tell me when he’ll take wains not showing up for 9 days, taking them for 2 nights n thinking he’s dad of the year , I’ve always said must be good being a man x
It’s natural to be angry and want revenge. So don’t beat yourself up about feeling like that.
You WILL have the last laugh:
That relationship he’s currently in won’t last. One or both of their heads will be turned eventually.
Your kids will grow up and see what his actions did to their mum and you as a family.
He will eventually realise the grass is not greener on the other side and realise what he had and has now lost.
It just takes men a bit longer to realise because most of them are stoooooopid.
Focus on your kids and yourself. Let their relationship take its toll and when it does you’ll be in a different headspace. Hopefully one which tells him to F off. Take care