Ashley James: How I face online scrutiny and pressure as a parent

“It’s not one size fits all”

There’s no manual on how to parent, but doing what’s right for your mental health, body and baby is most important – and you know your baby best.

Ashley understands this from personal experience – some people didn’t react well when she breastfed Alfie as part of a live segment on Channel 5’s Jeremy Vine show. But she defends her right to be public about breastfeeding and argues that all mothers should feel safe in their choices.

“I did breastfeed, and I got criticism for that. It’s just knowing that no one can judge you because no one knows your circumstances, and no one knows your baby – there are things I did with Alf that didn’t work for Ada and vice versa. It’s not one size fits all.”

Ashley encourages parents by saying, “I think, in terms of mental health, it’s doing what’s right for you and, of course, carving out time for yourself is important, but sometimes it’s not possible.

“Just know that it will pass and it’s not forever and don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

Tuning out the noise can be hard, but, ultimately, you know what’s best, because nobody knows your baby like you do.

Ashley’s final advice for parents online is to, “Be mindful not to project what has worked for you on to new mums, because everyone will be telling them what works best, and everyone’s experience will be completely different.”