Hi,
I’m the dad so not the mom but couldn’t find a page. Just looking for advice please.
Me and my partner have unfortunately split.
We have 2 kids – 1 toddler & 1 6 month old.
Due to mental health reasons and feeling unsupported I split and left. Following an external abuse within the wider family that my partner refused to see and actually blamed me for standing up for myself and putting boundaries. I appreciate i am in the wrong for leaving with her in postpartum and if I wasn’t mentally unwell I never would have left and I have communicated this and tried to fix it but she doesn’t want it and i can understand her side
My partner is refusing to let me have the little one over night, or compromise of letting me stay there and we rotate out. She is also refusing to sell the house when she’s back at work under the provision that the kids need a stable home. But my thinking is they both need 2 happy homes instead of 1 home and then dads at grandparents in one shared room.
Any advice?
Source
Solicitor.
You need a solicitor.
It’s a tricky world legally with houses. Technically she doesn’t have to sell until the children are a certain age (look into that a bit as I could be outdated on info) however I understand what you are saying with 2 stable homes.
Mental health is a force that can destroy people and relationships, and the personally I believe the best thing to do is step away when you are in the pits of it when kids are involved. You need to think of yourself to be able to be a good parent.
So well done for taking the step needed to get yourself better
Is the youngest breastfed? As that also makes a difference when figuring out shared care?
Does she believe your mental health struggles would impact your ability to care for the children?
The only reason I ask is because if this was to turn into a custody arrangement then these questions could be asked and argued over?
If not if that applies then it sounds like she is hurt and taking it out on you by being unreasonable with shared care.
It’s unfair but maybe she needs time. And if she is still unwilling to come to a reasonable resolution I would suggest seeking legal help with seeing your children.
I hope for the sake of the children it’s amicably resolved but unfortunately shared care isn’t always easy when one person isn’t willing to put the children first over their hurt feelings. X