Can I have an anonymous post please!
Looking for some advice. Might be long but I appreciate the help.
I’ve been with my partner for a few years now, he has two children from a previous relationship (young teens) I have a child from a previous relationships (10) and we have a 1 year old together and I’m currently pregnant, all kids live with us full time. I just don’t know if I’m happy anymore. I feel like he doesn’t do his fair share of parenting, I do all the night feeds and get up early every morning with the baby, I do all the household chores etc. he does work full time but often gets weekends off and even then, he doesn’t get up with the baby. He can go out and do what he likes when he likes, pub, holidays away with friends and I feel like I get no time to myself. Occasionally I get an hour to myself when I take my child to his sports club. The baby won’t settle for him at bedtime so that’s always left to me to do.
I feel like our parenting of the older 3 kids are very different. We will make rules for them and then he bends the rules to suit his children etc. I feel like his son is very disrespectful, I don’t expect them to do much just keep their rooms tidy, I will ask him to tidy his room and he just says he will and never does. I almost feel like a live in maid. My son and his son share a room and my son is very tidy and neat and his son isn’t so I feel like it’s affecting my son. He leaves plates and cups and rubbish all over the room. His son also stays up late on the computer online with his friends being loud and shouting but complains if my son is listening to music on his earphones and he can slightly hear it. My son doesn’t want to spend any time in his room and will often just sit in the hall for peace 🤷🏻♀️ we have had conversations and he says things will change and they do for maybe a few days and then go back to how they were. I’m not happy and I don’t think my son is either but I just don’t know what to do. I do love my partner but i don’t think it’s enough anymore. I just don’t know what to do. I live in his house so I don’t have any where to go and my family wouldn’t have space for me and my kids.
Source
Maybe see a Couples therapist?
Write it all down and ask him to dedicate some time to sort things out and include the children in this.
Stop doing things you know he can do.
Find a way to move out? Women’s support groups in your area?
I teel so bad for you. That is so unfair on your son too. Cant believe your partner goes holidays eiyh friends, what about you
Think you need to sit down and be honest and tell him how unhappy you are. Xxx
To me it seems that you are the maid/carer and he’s living like a single man working full time! How about you and your children live separately… unless the house is yours? That way it gives everyone room to breath, you will have equal parenting duties if your children and your poor son will have his own room.
U all seem unhappy well not his side they seem very well catered for .. make rules for your sons bedroom ie no computer or other devices til tidy evrey day, not gaming or music past 10pm .. general chores shoyld be introduced for everyone .. as for holidays with mates pub etc i would be saying no to those .. yeah a pint or 2 wi friends but home at a decemt time . As for the baby not settling u will find if u persist that he continues the bed time routine your baby will settle eventually .. u seem to have created the perfect life for him amd his son and thats not fair on u or your other son . Under no circumstances would i allow my son to sit on the landing for peace . The wifi has a plug use it 😊