Anon post please
I had my second baby last year with my partner. I had a difficult pregnancy and ended up with post-partum pre-eclampsia. Long story short, I became very poorly and had brain surgery when my baby was 2 months old.
I was in hospital more than I was home, in the 2 months he was here. It was a huge strain on my relationship with my partner, and I struggled to bond with my baby.
2 weeks after my surgery I found out my partner had cheated on me the day after my surgery.
I kicked him out straight away and was raising my 2 kids alone, whilst recovering from surgery.
Im very close to my family and this was difficult for them to see me go through, after all the struggles I had anyway.
5 months or so later, I decided I wanted to try and make it work with my partner. I am obviously very hurt and need to build the trust, but I do believe he is sorry and that if we can work through this, we will have a great relationship.
My family are upset with this news (which I understand), they have all said they want nothing to do with him, ever.
Whilst I completely understand their hurt and their feelings, I dont want to make life awkward for my kids etc.
My partners Mum has now on several occassions told me that it was my fault he cheated because no human could go through what we went through and still be in a strong relationship?! This breaks my heart.
We had a recent fall out where she repeated this to me again and told me that she does not want me with her son because I cant ‘move on’ from what he did. And call me a ‘perfect princess’ etc.
I am not a horrible person and in fact see the good in everyone. But I have told my partner that his Mum is the only reason our relationship may not work, because she is sticking her nose where it doesnt belong.
I am suffered bad with PPD and PP anxiety and she told me that I dont have it that bad and need to move on.
I just dont know where to go with this and what my future looks like.
I dont know if I just needed a rant…sorry
Source
Its not your fault he cheated he made the choice to cheat . Also shes toxic so block her on social media and phone she don’t deserve to be in your life. As for him its like giving him a free pass to cheat again as u took him back he had no excuse to cheat. If he wont stand up to his mother show his support them get rid
As hard be i wouldnt even take partner back waste space he is
He didn’t just cheat, he cheated while you were having brain surgery, most partners would be at the hospital and looking after the house and kids. Who even has time to cheat with a 2 month old baby to look after!
His Mum needs to give her head a wobble! No normal person would condone that behaviour! Be kind to yourself! Your families feelings are valid because they want to love and protect you. Your MIL sounds like a piece of work! You need to see if you can really trust him again.
Sounds like a mummy’s boy .I know I couldn’t forgive .I’d rather raise my kids alone xx
You’d be crazy to even consider it.
How can you depend on him not to cheat again?
I’d cut my losses
Unfortunately, your family are going to feel very negative about what happened & have stated what they feel, his family are obviously going to defend his stance… what the pair of you need to determine is whether you both can acknowledge & accept that your in-laws are going to be defending your equivalent partner’s stance & if you can ignore the potential hostility to focus on your own relationship (some people will stick together through the ups & downs focused on their own little family while others will need that extended bond with grandparents, aunts & uncles…) what is more important to you?
His mum is in the wrong for saying that 100%. Me and my partner have been togather 1.5 years and we’ve been though some awful times from loosing a baby 4 months into our relationship, me loosing my mum 6 months into our relationship and alot of other stuff. I have a life threatning conditon where I have cardiac arrest and his mum would never say anything bad like that. Hes never cheated. If I were you id move on because cheating is something you cannot get over and I wouldnt put up with his mum saying stuff that nasty either.
A definite no it’s not your fault he cheated. After what you’ve been through Wheres the support for you /children. I would seriously take one day at a time.the trust is important plus he is your children s father.thelove does not just go.