Can I have a private post please – my children’s dad (5 children) split 3 years ago he’s never paid maintenance he works self employed cash in hand, receives benefits and majority of his rent paid. He’s had his home for approx 2 years so for the last 2 years he has our children they go to his 6pm Friday until Sunday afternoon which I’m grateful for but uniforms is all down to me, winter clothes, summer clothes etc I have to send the children over with clothes i ask for support and it’s always how skint he is yet he goes abroad for 2/3 holidays a year for a week at a time without a care of the children and new clothing for himself, He did take my children away for 2 nights this year but I had to provide their spending money for the children and then pick them up from the caravan park on the Sunday as that wasn’t his day ( these days are not set in stone and we’ve never been to family court ) I have an event this week and he knew he was having the children early this Friday but as he’s skint away going away next week for a week ( alone again this year ) he has to work so can’t have them. I don’t have any other support network so in the week the children have to come to appointments with me or meetings, and on the weekends is when I do hair/nail apps and shopping and do a full house reset I don’t really go out drinking etc as I have anxiety and I’m away from family and friends. I have to drop the children to him and pick them up every week, my children have to take all of their own stuff up, I text him saying how I feel he takes the piss and he said well we all don’t sit on our ass and have benefits and endless money this is not sure I’m in a lot of debt and I really am struggling finically but since June I do have benefits for 5 children instead of 2 which has been a massive help so I’ve been doing redecorating in my home but by bit and paying debts off. He says I’m being ungrateful that he can’t have the children Friday even though he’s know about the event since may he is self employed and usually he will take days off in the week anyway. He said most fathers don’t even have their children and I should be grateful! I pay for everything by myself and because he claims benefits and works cash in hand he is suppose to be £7.14 child maintenance a week which he has never ever paid in the 3 years since we’ve split and for the 1st year we split he never had the children only see them for 3 days a week, but like I said I’m grateful he has the children but I feel family court will be the best option now but he said if we go to family court as he is so called suppose to be someone’s carer they will favour him and he won’t have the at all he doesn’t care for said person but as it’s on paper he does. I don’t know I’m just at my Whits end I’m sick of benefits also I had to turn down my old job when my youngest was born as I couldn’t have the help with childcare also I am meant to be starting a college course in September to better my life and to help get a job when my youngest is at school age so if they ask why the gap I could prove I went to college to get better. So my question really is what could the family court outcome be from your experiences thank you.
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Because he takes his children 2 days a week you’ll not get much.. I got offered £7 something for my daughter for CM because he had her 2 days a week at his .. you’ll probably get about £35 if even as I’m not sure if it lessens with each child like it does with child benefit.. if he’s working cash in hand then the only thing landing him in it will do is to be caught, probably sacked or his employer arrested so then he’ll have no job and definitely have no money to give to you after that if your children need clothes send them for the weekend with the clothes on their back and don’t let them take any toys or things from your home and let him fork out for ones for his home.. family court could be a nightmare because really you’re not fighting for him to take your children as he’s doing this already it seems your just doing it either to get more money out of him or have your kids more days so you have more time to yourself so you can have free time etc and live your life but they’ll say 2 days is more than enough especially as he has a job and stuff already
It’s not legal really having cash in hand that could work to your advantage you could speak to citizens advice and discuss your issues. He’s a selfish man
Family court won’t help, he’s having the kids every weekend and if he did pay the £7 that’s him covered…
Another vote for CMS, would also be a shame if HMRC got wind he was working cash in hand 😏
Clearly not going through family court benefits him and thats why he doesn’t want you to do it. Stop enabling him and do whats necessary for your children and you. Get to court and watch how fast he no longer has time or money to go on holidays
Report to CMS they will investigate. Passports are digital now so they’ll see that his lifestyle doesn’t match with benefits. There’s no way he’s skit his rent and bills are being covered by benefits.
CMS are unlikely to help because he’ll just say he has no money but if he’s claiming benefits and working DWP may well intervene and they can trace trips abroad, see into bank accounts etc
He should be glad to help his children and having them for a few days a week should be a pleasure for him, not something he’s doing as a favour for you. I think CMS sounds a good idea.