Eight things parents should know about sleep training, according to an expert

A common point of contention among parents is sleep. Beyond the effects of sleep deprivation, post-partum fatigue and arguments over whose turn it is to get up in the middle of the night in those early stages, the long-standing debate around sleep training for babies continues to rage (just check Mumsnet).

The practise itself can be traced back to the 19th century, but the idea of “self-soothing” – and, indeed, the term – was first coined by sleep researcher Thomas Anders in the 1970s, who analysed the effects of parent intervention when infants awoke in the night.

Part of the controversy surrounding sleep training, which typically takes place around the six-month mark, is that some identify the technique as “cruel”, arguing that allowing a child to “cry it out” – should the method you choose include an element of this – can negatively impact their development and attachment. But, there’s no been no proof of this in research conducted.

On the flip side, those who do adopt a sleep training method argue that it improves both the sleep and mood of the parents and the child, and introduces structure at an early stage in their lives – the parents are not governed by their child.

This World Sleep Day, Professor Kevin Morgan of Loughborough University explains to Yahoo UK what all parents should know about sleep training techniques – before they adopt (or shun) the method.

1. You are not teaching them how to sleep

Sleep training isn’t about teaching an infant how to sleep, but, rather, providing certain parameters to get them to sleep, Professor Morgan stresses.

“Babies are wired up to sleep,” he explains. “They’ve been sleeping in the womb since their nervous system developed. The target of sleep training isn’t to train the child to sleep, it is to train the child to sleep on its own. That’s a really important distinction.”

2. It isn’t the same as potty training

Professor Morgan is also keen to point out how sleep training differs from, say, potty training or learning how to use a knife and fork, which are a learned behaviours rather than instinctive ones.

He says: “If you’re training a kid how to use a potty, the expectation is once they learn how to go to the toilet, that’s it – they know how. There are, generally speaking, no episodes of incontinence throughout their early childhood or adolescence. It’s binary – they didn’t know how to do it, then they did, and that behaviour is then fixed.”

“Sleep isn’t like that,” he continues. “You can adopt a training procedure that aims to get your child to sleep more independently, away from the parental bed, but all children will have wobbly nights where they struggle to get to sleep or stay asleep throughout the night. That’s how sleep works – for adults, too.”

3. No two babies are the same

“There’s a lot going on that influences the depth and intensity of sleep. So you can, in theory, stick to the same regime, and do all the ‘right’ things – but that doesn’t guarantee an infant will always sleep well,” he says.

“Babies are born with individual differences in sleep propensity and sleep patterns, so one size can be applied to all, but one size doesn’t necessarily produce the same results for all.”

It’s a particularly important consideration for those who may be prone to drawing comparisons between themselves, their friends and their babies. It doesn’t mean you are doing the “wrong” thing. At all.

4. Adaptation and flexibility is key

Similarly, things like regressions (or leaps, as they’re often referred to) are very real – and can impact how a child sleeps, regardless of whether they are sleep trained or not.

Professor Morgan says: “If your expectation going into sleep training is that sometimes an infant won’t be able to sleep, great. These methods work probabilistically and they are not an absolute.”

He adds: “The good thing about sleep regressions is that they are entirely predictable. They are so widely discussed that you oughtn’t be surprised that, when you think you’ve cracked it, suddenly your baby seems to be back where they started.”

5. Stick to your guns

The key in this situation, according to Professor Morgan, is to not throw out the rule book. While it may seem as though your method isn’t working, the worst thing you can do is try something completely new and undo all the work you’ve already done.

Instead, he says, return to the beginning and go back over the original steps. Consistency is paramount.

6. There have been societal shifts

“If we go back to hunter-gatherer times, things were very different,” Professor Morgan states. “Communities – men, women, adolescent boys and girls, infants – all slept in the same space in communal areas.

“Just join the dots and think, is that really a healthy set-up? Maybe, if there’s opportunity to do so, separating some of these groups out is a better solution. And that’s the way things went.”

Even less than 100 years ago, due to a number of socioeconomic factors, families typically co-slept and tended to children in very different ways.

“It’s almost like a contemporary, post-modern icon to have a child’s bedroom or a nursery – a designated sleeping space separate from the parental space,” he adds.

7. We don’t know how sleep tracks in adults

Questioned whether these early stages of sleep development impact individuals later on in life, Professor Morgan said that, although this is something he and his colleagues are keen to prove and discuss often, we currently do not know the answer.

“Although we know that individual differences operate in childhood and in adulthood, what we don’t know is whether the topography of those individual differences is connected – whether the short-sleeping baby becomes the short-sleeping adult.

“We can, however, draw influences and conclude that probably that is the case. For example, an infant whose height is on the 95th percentile for six months is probably going to be a tall child and adult.”

“It’s something we’re keen to look into further,” he adds.

8. Figure out your parent-life balance

Professor Morgan says that there is an applied logic to sleep training regimes, but ultimately it is up to the parent to decide which method – if any – is right for them.

“Whether you’re a fan of the ‘cry out’ method or one of the other techniques of sleep training or not, how you approach your child’s sleep reinforces certain behavioural reward structures,” he explains.

“If the baby cries and cries and there’s no reward, such as a cuddle, they will learn that crying produces no consequences and will go to sleep from exhaustion. And then bit by bit, that exhaustion will be replaced with normal sleep patterns.

“If the baby cries a little and they are comforted, they will learn that in order to receive that comfort, they need to cry. And if the baby cries for longer before they are comforted, they will associate crying for longer with the reward of comfort. Arguably, you are training the child to cry in these scenarios.”

That’s of course not to say that when there’s genuine distress, like when they are ill, that a child should not be comforted – nor that parents shouldn’t check in on their babies throughout the night. But each action has a consequence – some of which can take root and last beyond the early stages of childhood, such as sleeping in the parental bed or acting up in order to receive a reward.

“If you can cope with all that, then you’re winning,” Professor Morgan concludes.

For advice on how safe baby sleep practises, whichever approach you take, use the following guidance by The Lullaby Trust.

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