How do you know when to give up on your relationship? Been with my husband for 15 years and it’s been horrendous the past 2 years. He’s been diagnosed with a chronic condition and has spent an arm and a leg trying to get this fixed as the NHS have not been helping (long story) – it’s had a massive toll on him and us, to the point his mental health was at an all time low. He’s on numerous medications for his physical and mental health and his mood is up and down. I’ve obviously supported him and been there the whole time. Financially we have been struggling as he’s been going private whilst trying to get the NHS to fund – it’s been a constant battle. Our relationship has suffered because on top of this, he’s changed – he went through a phase of talking to other people which didn’t last, which we got through and over. But now he’s just so emotionally detached. I can and do understand it as I have mental challenges myself but it’s really affecting me 😞 anytime I say something that’s bothering me in our relationship he goes from 0-100% and immediately puts all blame on me. He doesn’t want to hear my point of view and before he would listen to me and try to work things through. He doesn’t want to be intimate or touched at all. I also feel like he doesn’t listen to me anymore when I talk even just generally, he’s not really here. I’ve tried to change how I communicate, pick and choose what I say, take the initiative to cuddle etc but he either tries for a day and reverts back or just brushes off my feelings. He even commented last night that I wasn’t being supportive with his back which I think is totally unfair – I’ve been there through it all and cried with him. Ive also suffered financially and feel the stress of it all. I just feel so hurt and to make things worse I’m pregnant with our 3rd child due October (not planned). I dont know what to do. Every time we fight I make the effort and I fight for us, he never does. I’m not happy and haven’t been for a while. I just feel like he never considers what I want/need anymore and I know he’s going through alot, but I also need help and support
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Now? Speaking to other people is inexcusable (presumably in a romantic way). Using is mental health/low mood is an excuse. Ive been there. I did 20 years. Are you happy? Life is short.