Can I have a private post please.
I feel like I’m losing my mind. Been with my husband 21 years. Been together since we were 18. Have 2 kids. Our relationship has been physically and mentally abusive. (Hasn’t fit me in 8 years but when angry things fly and are broken)
Hes cheated on me 3 times (that I know of) the last one he left for a year and I took him back.
Our relationship is a rollercoaster, I can never make him happy, there’s always something every single day. I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle.
It’s not a partnership where we share things, I do everything but apparently do nothing.
I’m all he wants but he’s never happy, I’m exhausted and just want a stable home to raise my children in.
I wasn’t brought up in this, never saw my mum and step dad fight once. I can see it in the kids faces now, I’m a mug for taking it.
We work together, live together, together 24/7. I don’t see my family or friends, that’s too big of a fight afterwards.
Am I kidding myself praying things will change?
Source
Oh god hunni I could of written that myself. My ex never changed, he even said he never saw why he had to cos he knew what to say to be forgiven and the only reason he came back after he walked out for a year was cos he couldn’t bare to see me happier without him. Needless to say he got thrown out and then after even going as far as lying about applying to divorce he has now been served divirce papers and I’m nearly at the next stage of it. I stuck it out untill my kids were older cos despite how he treated me and he wasn’t great with them I didnt want them to be a “statistic” He doesnt bother with them now, they refuse to see him and they all said i should of left years ago cos me been happy means more than having a so called father who treated them like shit. Im sorry your hurting but it gets easier been alone. I had a lot of therapy to see it all from the outside so I could actually see what he put me through wasnt normal and I was having health issues to which now funnily enough are better xx
You shouldn’t be putting your children through that. He needs to leave as it is your childrens home and your home. Get legal advice before your children are traumatised in life.
It won’t change my love xx take the kids and leave as soon as you can x
This will now be affecting your kids, do you want them to think this is normal in a relationship and have relationships the same way.
Show them how tough you can be by walking away and having respect for yourself.
He controls you and what you do and he treats you like this because you don’t walk away. So do it give him a taste of his own medicine
Leave . If not for your own sake , do it for the kids . This is not a healthy relationship & by no means “normal” this will definitely have an effect on your kids future relationship. Do them a favour & get out .
Leave for the sake of the kids as well as yourself. If it was one of your kids in that situation what would you be telling them. Xx
It might be harder in the short term to be alone with your children but in the long term things will be so much better. 🫶
Take the kids & Run don’t walk ye will all be happier in the long run
You know the answer.. confidence is what you need!! Life is far too short …….. so deep breath…… Run 🏃 x